Thanks for asking

I’m usually a patient person.

Usually

The other day, in the middle of an otherwise delightful chat, a person, who shall remain nameless to protect his poor judgement, chirped happily, “Wow!  I bet it’s a relief not to have to worry about cancer anymore!”

In his defense, he knew I was off chemo and in his non-cancer damaged mind, he believed that meant I was finished with my cancer.  Just like a Dentist fills a cavity-riddled mouth with a well-placed filling, a little chemo takes care of brain cancer, arthritis and any ovarian pain I may have.  Right?

I wanted to say, “Well, I don’t worry every time the doctor takes (in my mind) too long to come back with the results of the scan.  Oh, the other day I had a really bad headache that lasted longer than usual, so naturally I didn’t worry that my tumor had grown back.   One more non-worry:  I’m certainly not worried that if I miss a dose of my anti-seizure meds, I’ll have another seizure.  Nope.  Not worried about that at all.  Just one more thing, I’m not worried about the reminder every time I look in the mirror and see what weeks of radiation  and months of chemo did to my hair.  I’m certainly not at all concerned with the fact that it may never grow back.  Oh, just one more thing, I’m certainly not worried about the damage that chemo did to “my boys”, potentially eliminating my family from having another child. 

Also, after I finish this post, I will continue working on my burial wishes, so clearly I’m not worried.

That’s what I wanted to say.

What I actually said was,

“Yes.  Yes it is”

Diplomacy: Keeping others from feelings of guilt since 1927

Biting my tongue and keeping the faith

Garnet

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12 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Cary on August 14, 2012 at 11:13 pm

    God love you Garnet. The gentleman you referred to has evidently been blessed by not having any loved one or close friend fight the big “C”. You and your family remain in my thoughts and prayers. I cherish the memories I have of our time spent together however brief, but very special.

    Reply

  2. Oh Garnet! I feel your bitten tongue…OUCH!! That was very diplomatic of you!!

    Reply

  3. Posted by USWeapon on August 15, 2012 at 7:42 am

    Wow… this is a tough one Garnet. Sorry someone was insensitive in thinking about your situation. What always keeps me “grounded” around your situation: A few years ago, I had a small issue that COULD have been an indication of cancer. For days I worried incessantly that I had developed cancer and thought about how to handle it, whether I would now only have a short time left, all those other thoughts you obsess about when cancer happens. It turned out that it wasn’t and I was fine.

    But I never forget what that felt like. The fear, the worry, all of it. And I imagine that those feelings are amplified when the diagnoses ends up being positive instead of negative. I would imagine there isn’t a day that goes by that you are not still feeling the effects, and worrying about the future. I don’t envy you at all in that part of your world.

    But on a positive note, I envy a lot of other aspects of your life. And I want to reiterate what an inspiration you have been to me and I am sure many others as you have handled what may be the most difficult time in your life with grace, humor, and positivity.

    Stay healthy and, just as important, stay you.

    John

    Reply

  4. Posted by the Sister on August 15, 2012 at 9:47 am

    Well, we all know that you will never ever tell me who it was because I will certainly lay them out. In a very ladylike way of course but nonetheless, lay them out. You don’t need my protection but, you are kind of stuck with it. Love you G. Please let me lay them out with ladylike kindness.

    Reply

  5. Posted by Joanne on August 15, 2012 at 10:01 am

    I hear you Garnet! Big time. xoxoxoox

    Reply

  6. Posted by Jackie Sandblade on August 15, 2012 at 10:53 am

    You handled it well. Great job.

    Reply

  7. Posted by Pam Jensen on August 15, 2012 at 12:24 pm

    An closed mouth gathers no foot. This person definitely has foot in mouth disease. You stated your diplomatic response well!!

    Reply

  8. Posted by Karen Williams on August 15, 2012 at 6:46 pm

    That wasn’t mere diplomacy, Garnet. That was grace! You’re our hero!

    Reply

  9. well bitten good chap

    Reply

  10. Posted by Meghan on August 26, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    Wowsers. Don’t think I would’ve have commented as gracefully as you did…

    Reply

  11. Posted by Harry,er Pose on August 28, 2012 at 9:05 pm

    What a jerk. So, I bet you’re relieved that you don’t have to worry about fantasy baseball anymore……

    Reply

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