If you read my previous post, you’ll understand that the time you surprised me at a public event and I didn’t respond right away, I wasn’t being impolite. Especially if I hadn’t seen you in a really long time, I certainly wasn’t being rude. I was simply suffering progressively worse symptoms from my battle with brain cancer. The telephone is even worse.
I would have loved to catch up with you. My brain just wouldn’t cooperate. For the longest time, I feel like I’ve been on a delay.
My brain is like a poorly timed live shot.
You’ve likely watched the evening news when the anchor announces that this is a breaking update of local flooding and the meteorologist is out in the field. The people at the desk gear up to ask the fearless weather person a question and…
The weather person courteously nods at the anchors and the viewers.
“Well Diane and Jim…”
And the newscast continues. Unless, they ask another question to the brave professional wearing hip boots purchased from Field & Stream Factory Outlet. Then, the countdown starts again.
On the other hand, if I see you before you see me, I have the distinct advantage of calmly planning what I’m going to discuss with you. I’m running hypothetical discussions in my mind, including opening lines, responses and goodbye’s. Although you probably didn’t know this was a competition.
My brain used to be a top of the line high-speed computer. Now it’s 1980’s microfiche. You still get the same information, but it’s’ not immediate.
This weekend, we were invited to a casual get-together with great friends. The usual couples were there, including their children who were running around playing several games all at the same time. As usual, there were lively conversations from the parents. Often there were several exchanges going at once. I couldn’t keep up. I wanted to inject a statement, a joke or even just a question.
My brain is like a network’s team coverage, where the anchor has lost control of their guests.
It’s not my friends fault. Perhaps I have monopolized the conversation for too long. It was good to hear a new voice shine around the fire. I remember a time right after college where everyone was sitting down and I stood up and basically did a 10-minute routine. It was all about “me”.
This has been a very humbling experience, but I hope this new aggressive treatment will help me eradicate the delay, yet still holding onto the lessons I’ve learned from this situation. It’s a wonderful sound hearing others speak. My friends bring a wealth of knowledge and joy, but I was too busy trying to make my opinion heard to listen.
Now you know.